01/04/2025
My beliefs on the death penalty.
following an essay from class i just completed, i felt the need to share why i despise solitary confinement. Have you ever been lonely? I know for a fact most of you dumb fucks have. If you truly know what that slow death feels like, then you'll understand what criminals given the good old "life scentence" feel. And really, its much more than just lonliness. Believe me. Ive probably stayed in the worst mental institutions there is! But back to the main topic here.. The purpose of solitary confinement is to keep you reflecting and to suffer. Punishment. To keep you away from the public you were a danger to in the first place. Depending on the severity of your crime, life behind bars, could be your fate. It is suffer, torture at its finest. No one to talk to, and sure as hell no one to care for you. Through your time in isolation, you'll eventually forget what it feels like to eperience a life. You will physically and emotionally go through the very slow stages of death itself. Even if some say "living is better than not living at all" in reference to capital punishment or a life scentence. I believe capital punishment is the better of these two. Would you rather die a slow and painful death? Or die a painless and short one? You'll be depraived of everything that really makes a life, a life. You will not be living.
01/05/2025
I fucking hate every day, but today is truly the worst there is. I cant live like this in this house, all alone. I really hate the school board, and everyone who got me into this mess. Every day is pure fucking despair. I dont think any of you guys understand how truly terrible and uninhabitable this condition I reside in is. Putrid, disgusting, same old shit I do every day. Have you ever been at such a loss? I really dont think you've felt this. I'm told all the time how they're happy im here now and finally gone. I cant do this anymore. But during my time I've realised, it's best not to let it take over. I am still fucking suffering and carrying an entire FUCKING BRAIN TUMOR of guilt, but life wont go on forever, even with how much we pray, and how much we bow to gods, it wont happen. We aren't going anywhere special, and we aren't different from each other. If you really look at it. Really fucking think about it. We are all going to hell no matter who. Whatever you believe in, whatever you do, who ever you are, theres no escaping it. We are all dying, and that is that. Nothing will prevent that and nothing will ease the blockage of a stopped heart. Make up for lost time while you can, because man, I really wish I damn could.

01/05/2025
You know what really doesn't sit right with me? Well, a lot of things. But this is the most confusing and bile-enducing thing there is. I really dont enjoy the aspects of being a person. Sorry if this is a little deep here, but please tell me someone else knows what I mean.. come on I cant be the only one right. Eating is such a chore, and the feeling of quenching hunger is distasteful. I hate how food fills the void. The flavor doesn't stay good for long either, and if I never put even a bite of food in my mouth, panic attacks would probably go a little smoother. I always get fucking sick..fucking fuck you panic disorder. Another chore of human life is literally any other sense. Touch is putrid, feeling nasty things is truly gross. Especially when you can FEEL the fucking germs.. like. And have to go wash your hands immediately to get it off, or sweaty palms is also really terrible. The feeling is terrible. I also hate the lights in my room. The lights do really fucking bother me. And everyone gets pissed at ME for being sensitive about it. Of course other people are around, but i have some actual shit going on they're too retarded to acknowledge. The lights are so bright and hurt my eyes. If theres light, it should be dimmed. Always. Everyone needs those sensitive-eye lamps that old white grannies used to have in their houses. Only fuck-ass millenial people use over head lights in their room. Or bright kitchen lights too.

01/06/2025
In all honesty, dont be a good person. It never works out, and it will ALWAYS backfire. I used to be a lover of all things, I lived happily.. but as soon as you start meeting people and making friends. The anxiety starts coming back, and people will start taking advantage of you. Its total HELL being a nice person. Dont try it. Be your own type of person, because being the "always nice and friendly" type of cheery rainbow, will almost always lead you in the wrong direction in life. Just because of how much our society is totally fucked. Another thing I would like to mention in this entry is Elon Musk's neuralink. Are you guys REALLY SERIOUS using this product. It doesnt bring back eyesight. Elon Musk is the same guy from the news, the one on the trump rally. He works with the government, everyone knows this. And now youre putting chips in your retarded brains? I thought we've been dwelling the conspiracy theory that the government puts shit in us already at birth, so why are we making that sci-fi horror movie true?